April 28th but let's kill ourselves without mama (she is dead)

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 i handed in my essay and i did my exam. it's over. not really. i have more assignments coming that i am scared of. however, historically i have passed a lot of assignments, so the evidence says i'm capable. my back hurts like crazy. i finished art for the podjam. it's not as good as my friends' art. i'm listening to covey. people are good at different things. i'm enrolled and i can make the testosterone appointment but i'm scared. i told daisy she needs other friends. at the same time, i want her to come with me. i'm tired i'm tired i'm tired. my therapist cancelled. my books were 13 days overdue but i returned them anyway. the cans in my room are turning mouldy. it's so over it's so over it's so over it's so over it's so over. 

 i'm not gonna kill myself. i'll make the appointment and start the assignments and throw out the cans. i'll go to bed in a minute. i'll go to my lecture in the morning. i know these things will happen. i know they will.

 love you, m

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